How to Start Talking to Your Kids About Their Mental Health — And What to Do When They Won't
Most parents don't wait until their child is sick to teach them about physical health. They teach them to wash their hands, wear sunscreen, eat vegetables, get sleep. Mental health deserves the same approach — and it starts not with a single big conversation, but with dozens of small ones.
That's the core insight behind a resource we want to share from the Kids Mental Health Foundation: Starting the Conversation with Kids. It's one of the most practical, low-barrier pieces of guidance we've come across for Columbus-area parents — and it applies to every family, whether or not your child is currently struggling.
Why regular conversations matter more than you might think.
Talking to children about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences helps build positive relationships. When you talk openly about their day, you can learn about concerns or problems they're dealing with, help them problem-solve, and build their confidence for facing future difficulties. And the more you talk, the more trust you build — making it easier when the difficult topics eventually come up.
That last part is the piece most parents miss. The goal of everyday check-ins isn't to surface problems — it's to build the channel through which your child will eventually bring you the hard stuff. You're not interrogating. You're investing.
Four tips for making conversations a habit.
The Foundation frames conversation as a social skill — the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. If your family creates a daily habit of checking in with each other, difficult conversations will start to feel more natural over time.
Make it daily. It doesn't need to be long or formal. A two-minute check-in at dinner or in the car counts. Consistency matters more than depth, especially at the start.
Choose low-distraction moments. Family dinners, bedtime routines, car rides, and short daily walks are ideal — times when phones are down, the environment is relaxed, and there's a natural reason to be together. Many parents find the car especially effective: side-by-side instead of face-to-face often makes it easier for kids to open up.
Model it yourself. Children learn by watching. If you share about your day, your thoughts, and your feelings — at an age-appropriate level — kids learn that emotions are normal and that there are healthy ways to cope with them. You don't have to share everything. Just enough to normalize the practice.
Ask open-ended questions — and not just about feelings. The goal is to create the habit of comfortable sharing, not to conduct an emotional inventory. You can talk about school, friends, something funny that happened, something they're looking forward to — any topic that opens a door. "What was the best part of your day?" gets further than "How was school?"
What to do when they won't talk.
This is the question parents ask us most often — and the answer is probably not what you'd expect.
If your child doesn't want to talk, don't push it. Pushing usually leads to shutting down more. Instead, let them know you care about what's going on in their life and ask when a better time would be. Children are more likely to engage when they feel some control or choice over the situation.
Respect their pace. Keep showing up. The consistency of your presence — even when they don't engage — communicates that the door is always open.
The Foundation also has a free Conversation Starters PDF with age-specific questions covering feelings, coping strategies, and mental wellness — a useful tool to print out and keep somewhere accessible.
A note specifically for parents of neurodiverse children.
The KMHF resource library also includes a dedicated guide on starting conversations with neurodiverse kids, acknowledging that children who process the world differently may have more difficulty talking about their experiences or feelings — and that building that communication bridge requires a different approach.
At COPBH, this is an area we work with families on directly. For children with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, anxiety, or OCD, the standard "let's talk about your feelings" approach often doesn't land. Part of what we do is help parents find the communication style that actually works for their specific child — and help children build the vocabulary and safety they need to use it.
When conversations reveal something deeper
Sometimes, the daily check-ins work exactly as intended — and what they reveal is that your child needs more than a good conversation. Maybe they're describing worry that never goes away. Maybe they're avoiding things they used to enjoy. Maybe they're struggling in ways that feel too big for family conversations to hold.
That's not a failure. That's the system working. You built the trust, they told you something important, and now you have the information you need to get the right support.
At COPBH, we work with Central Ohio families who are at exactly that point — parents who have been paying attention, noticed something worth addressing, and are ready to take the next step. Our Westerville practice specializes in anxiety, ADHD, OCD, behavioral challenges, and the full range of pediatric behavioral health needs. And we have current availability — you don't have to wait months to be seen.
Contact COPBH to schedule a consultation →
For the full resource — including companion guides on keeping the conversation going and helping kids problem-solve — visit the Kids Mental Health Foundation at kidsmentalhealthfoundation.org.